I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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