I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
