She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
