Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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