we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
