she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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