He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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