whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
