Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize