did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
