If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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