This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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