Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
