he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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