we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
