he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I intend to get homeless drunk
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
