After last night, I could never be a politician.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize