her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
