Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
