that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
