I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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