She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
