People in love make me want to vomit
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize