i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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