he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
