I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
