I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
