By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
