"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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