wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
