i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize