yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
