I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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