Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
