Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
