This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
