it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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