i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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