nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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