Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
