if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
