He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
