Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You can't special order awesome
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
