Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
