i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
