ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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