It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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