You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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