But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
