dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
