Farmville is her only friend.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
