This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
