I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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