And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
it's great music for shaving your balls
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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