I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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