You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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